You'll Never Know Who Is Really Behind The Hearts

Dear Gaslighter… How many men on social media have liked your picture, sent you hearts, and commented lovely things? Now ask yourself how many of them have secret lives and kids they’ve abandoned… I bet this has never crossed your mind, has it? Why would it? You enjoy the attention, revel in their adoration of your pictures but believe me, when I say to be careful, BE CAREFUL. Realising that my ex-husband was indeed a liar and manipulator shocked me to the core. For twenty years I didn’t know what he was doing, turns out there’s a word for it and it’s called gaslighting or emotional abuse. This is when they lie to cover the truth or to make you think something that you know that happened didn’t happen for whatever reason. In my case I believe it’s because he lied so much to make himself sound good when I met him that when I clocked on to what was happening, he couldn’t handle me discovering what a pathological liar he is. Believe me when I say, if they can do it once they will do it again. Never take someone at face value. There’s always two sides to the story they will tell you. Theirs and their partner – the one they walked out on, the one they lied to so much, the one they made question their own reality. This is the person you need to listen to. If someone cannot see the wrong they have done and continue to put the blame on the other person for the problems in the relationship then believe me that this person is not stable or a potential partner at all and avoid. Save yourself the pain and mental stress. I have been there and it’s not healthy. I’m not saying that every man is the same, but I can say that honestly there’s so many who will lie and spin a story to get you into bed. These men have no conscience, no morals, and they certainly have no respect for you either. My husband, Craig James Matthews has done exactly this. He blocked his own daughter on Facebook only for us to discover that he was sending hearts and messages to this woman knowing he has left his kids in such mental distress for leaving, never sending them a birthday card, or seeing them for almost two years. How do you think it feels to see a man you’ve known for twenty years send another woman hearts and comments when he never gave you the time of day. Yes, it hurts but you wonder what goes through a man’s head when he does this. Is he that demented or lacking in emotional intelligence that he can’t see that he could potentially ruin someone else’s life by being in it? It’s laughable in some respects because they think they’re something but in reality, they’re just scumbags. Scumbags who prey on women for a quick shag and leave them when it suits – like he did to me, but it took him twenty years to find the door because he’s that stupid. Liars and bullshitters will never change, and you need to recognise the signs when you see them and run a mile. Run, I tell ya! And certainly don’t marry them because then you’re lumbered with the divorce. If it’s anything like my situation, you’ll be doing everything including potty training them because they’re that lazy. A slight exaggeration there but let’s say – almost! The signs for me were mostly gut instinct. I think we all know when something is off, right? Story doesn’t add up, or the details have changed in the story, or they can’t remember certain things, but you can, and they say you’re making it up or you’re wrong. These are warnings and pay attention to everything they tell you, especially at the beginning of the encounter. If something sounds off, it most certainly is. But, unfortunately we don’t pay too much attention at the beginning and most of us find out much later on.